


so i fall

by Yoonki_397



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Love Confessions, M/M, yoon jeonghan is in love against all odds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:15:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26058565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yoonki_397/pseuds/Yoonki_397
Summary: Jeonghan has a revelation.
Relationships: Lee Seokmin | DK/Yoon Jeonghan
Comments: 18
Kudos: 86





	so i fall

**Author's Note:**

> not my best work, but it's something i wanted to write (and as usual it is unbeta'd)
> 
> just think it's fair that jeonghan gets a turn to cry in bed :)

There’s something weird going on with Jeonghan. 

It’s like a dull ache, right in the middle of his chest that radiates and manifests throughout his body in the most annoying ways possible. His hands have started to sweat uncontrollably during vocal rehearsals, he’s begun to fidget around the other members almost nonstop and he’s suddenly developed a habit of flushing uncontrollably. 

He’s started to notice it maybe a month or two ago, but is sure it must have been there longer if the way the feeling sits heavy in the pit of his stomach from the moment he wakes up to the time his tossing and turning finally puts him to sleep is anything to measure by. 

He had thought that maybe it was some new manifestation of his stress due to their impending comeback, but once promotions had come and gone, and the symptoms persisted until they got worse he realised that he may be wrong. There’s a first time for everything, Jeonghan just wished it had been with something different. 

He wasn’t used to not being in control. It was a foreign, unwelcome feeling that, on top of everything else, made him feel like he was back to being a shy, unconfident teen and not the person who he’d worked so hard to grow into. At least back then he could pinpoint and solve the problem at hand, with this Jeonghan couldn’t even begin to nail down what he was feeling let alone the cause. 

The uncertainty annoyed him more than anything else. It made it hard for him to think straight, so he did what he always did when he needed to clear his head: he pulled on one of the shirts he had stolen from Seokmin- specially chosen to hang just to his mid thigh and draping loose over his slight frame- and made his way to the younger vocalist’s room. If there was one thing Jeonghan could be certain of at times when his head felt just a bit too full, it was that he was in need of a distraction. 

Seokmin was good at those. 

He sits on Seokmin’s bed, scrolling through twitter and weverse in an attempt to keep his mind distracted as he waits. It doesn’t do much but Jeonghan is only alone in the room for a few minutes before the door is swung open by its owner. He knew that the younger was returning from a solo schedule, so it wasn’t surprising for Jeonghan to see him walk into the room while roughly running a towel through his hair. As he moves closer, Jeonghan admires the way stray water droplets travel along the curve of his biceps, thankful again for the younger brunet’s new found habit of wearing sleeveless shirts. 

“Oh-” Seokmin half stumbles on his way to his hamper when he finally notices Jeonghan is sprawled in his bed, “Hey.”

The brunet shifts so that he’s laying on his side and facing the other, moving just so the hem of the shirt rides up his thigh, making it clear that, besides his incredibly short boxer briefs, it’s the only thing he’s wearing, “Hey.”

Seokmin’s eyes follow the movement, trailing from Jeonghan’s hips to his legs and then back up to meet the older brunet’s eyes. They share a heated, knowing look, before Seokmin is moving, towel abandoned haphazardly as he positions himself over his hyung. Jeonghan shifts again until he’s laid on his back, looking up at Seokmin’s face as the younger vocalist’s arms bracket the sides of his head.

They consider each other again in silence. Jeonghan studies the way the light from the large window in Seokmin’s room hits the side of his face, the slope of his casting a shadow on the opposite side of his face, accenting his cheekbones. Some of his hair is pressed to his forehead, damp and clinging, as he hovers over him. Jeonghan reaches his arms up to brush it back, running his hands along his dongsaeng’s scalp, before letting them fall to rest linked at the base of his neck. 

There’s a beat, a palpable moment where they both seem to hold their breaths, before Seokmin presses his lips to his and it feels like all the tension is sapped from Jeonghan’s body. He feels himself sigh into the kiss, fingers loosening in their grip of the other’s shirt until it becomes less of an instant pull and more of a gentle guide as Seokmin brings his leg to the other side of his hips, moving to fully place himself over the older brunet as he deepens the kiss. 

Things progress as they always have from there. Jeonghan pulls at the collar of the other’s shirt until he takes it off, his own following suit moments after. Seokmin kisses down his chest, open mouthed and leaving marks that will fade before the night’s over in his wake. Underwear was removed, lube was acquired from the side table drawer, and before long Jeonghan was feeling the press of one, and then two fingers against him.

It was always so easy with Seokmin. They always fall together so neatly, moved like they were made for each other. Seokmin especially. He thrived, it seemed, on making himself useful. Taking care of others, like seeing the results of a job well done, was reward enough. 

Jeonghan noticed it was especially true when it came to him, that there didn’t seem to be any request he couldn’t ask of the younger man that he wouldn’t immediately and enthusiastically try to fulfill. 

The implications of why that was clashes too much with the buzzing fog in his head in his head, so Jeonghan focuses instead on arching his back to get Seokmin to hurry his fingers up where they’re curled inside him. 

Like always Seokmin seems to understand what Jeonghan is saying even without words, and it’s not long before the speed and pressure of the other inside him has Jeonghan arching his back and his back and crying out the younger brunet’s name. He doesn’t stop until Jeonghan is grabbing at his wrist, feeling on the edge of cumming much quicker than usual. Seokmin withdraws his hand, chuckling as he presses his lips to Jeonghan’s as the older brunet tries to calm himself down, reaching again for the drawer to grab a condom.

“You’re so sensitive today.” Seokmin says it with a smirk, boyish and cocky in a way that would have been so out of character for him before but now fits him like a second skin. 

“Maybe you’re getting better,” Jeonghan returns just as teasing, an attempt to rebalance their dynamic. 

Seokmin smirks again, pressing the tip of cock against Jeonghan and leaning down to press his lips to the shell of the other’s ear.

“Only for you.” The statement is punctuated with the feeling of Seokmin entering him in one, hard thrust, the force of it knocking any retort out of Jeonghan’s mouth and leaving behind a high moan. 

They move together like they always have. Seokmin enthusiastic in the way he chased their pleasure, hands and lips moving along his hyung’s body, pressing into the parts that he’d learned would draw responses from the other. Jeonghan responsive and encouraging as ever, back arching and hips moving to meet every thrust, sighs and moans leaving his lips at the feeling of fullness. It’s the same until it’s not, until Seokmin’s hands running along his torso and holding his hips become too gentle, the press of his lips against the column of his neck carrying a meaning that Jeonghan dare not try and decipher. 

It was suddenly too overwhelming, the feeling of Seokmin inside and over him suddenly suffocating in a way it wasn’t before. His attention, singularly focused and unwavering as he steadily drew pleasure from Jeonghan’s body, was like a weight on the older man’s chest that he could barely breathe under. 

He tries to remedy it with a change of position, locking his legs around the younger brunet’s hips and flipping them so that he’s now sitting in Seokmin’s lap with the younger sprawled under him. The movement causes nearly his entire weight down on Seokmin’s cock inside him, the head hitting his prostate so hard that it has Jeonghan throwing his head back and crying out so loudly that he can feel the way the sound grates against his throat. He sets a brutal pace, trying to chase the feeling, moving so fast and with such purpose that he can feel that way hair bounces in messy curls at the tips of his ears and side of his face.

It works for a few minutes at best, the weight on his chest growing along with a heavy feeling in the pit of his stomach. It isn’t helped by the way Seokmin continues to treat him so gently, how he continues to run his hands along Jeonghan’s legs and hold his hips as if he was something to be cherished. When he met Seokmin’s eye, there was a warmth behind them, even as he gasped and moaned at the feeling of Jeonghan tightening around him in an attempt to make him change his expression. The warmth pierced through the dense, archy fog in his head until a singular clear thought is left to shine through. 

_Oh, I love him._

Jeonghan shakes his head, trying and failing to clear it. He glances down where his pale hands are spread against Seokmin’s tan, toned stomach and sees the light streaming through the window reflect against a wet spot just above his belly button. 

For a second, Jeonghan thinks he came without noticing, that the overwhelming feeling in his gut was from Seokmin pushing him over the edge, that his dongsaeng had given him an Earth shattering orgasm and not some revelation of the heart that was of equal magnitude. Wishful thinking. 

“Oh, Jagiya, are you crying?” Seokmin asks, voice out of breath and in awe from below him. 

Jeonghan can’t be sure if he was before but he is now, body racked with sobs that grow in volume and intensity like the moans that came before them. They keep coming along with the tears that are streaming down his face, until he feels like he’s drowning under the weight of them. 

He’s so lost that he doesn’t realise that the room is standing still, that he’s sat in the lap of the apparent love of his life with a cock up his ass sobbing like some virgin. It’s not the time to be dramatic but this is quite possibly the worst thing that’s ever happened to Jeonghan in the 25 years he’s been alive. 

He feels Seokmin shift, the movement making him gasp. He can’t tell if the response from feeling the change in angle of Seokmin’s dick inside him or if it’s just from him attempting to catch his breath between sobs, isn’t sure which he thinks is worse. Not that it makes much of a difference, as tears continue to stream down his face uncontrollably. They blur his vision so badly that he doesn’t realise Seokmin is now sitting up in front of him until his dongsaeng’s hands are cupping his face. 

“Hey, hey,” Seokmin’s voice is so soft as he brushes tears from the corners of Jeonghan’s eyes, “Hyung, are you okay? Are you hurt? We can stop if you-”

“I love you.”

The confession leaves his lips in a garbled, tear-logged mess. It matches the way he feels, just as confused and weighed down by the sudden revelation. If he had known sooner, had been a better judge of his own heart, then Jeonghan is sure this wouldn’t have happened. He’s sure he would have planned something more fitting, a display that was more worthy of the man he loved. Something that showed he was worthy of Seokmin’s affection, rather than proved he was just as scattered and unsure of himself as he’s always been under his confident facade.

Jeonghan is so lost in his own head still, that he doesn’t realise the other hasn’t responded until Seokmin leans in to place a chaste kiss to his lips. It lasts just a moment before Seokmin is pulling away, only to repeat himself again and again until Jeonghan finally stops crying. 

With his vision finally cleared, he can see the endeared way Seokmin is looking at him. The way his eyes have softened at the corners, the tip of his lips in a barely there smile, as if he’s trying and failing to be serious. His hair is pushed back from his face, a mess and sticking in all directions from how it had dried. 

“I love you, too.”

The words hit Jeonghan like a punch, seeming to knock the air out of his lungs. He hadn’t expected to hear the words said back to him, not so soon if ever at all. Deep down he thinks that’s part of the reason why he’d reacted to his own feelings in the way he did, the fear of having such all encompassing feelings unrequited too much for him to handle. Somehow this is just as devastating to hear, maybe more so, and Jeonghan can feel hot tears gather at the corner of his eyes and fall again. 

“Oh my god, no!” Seokmin says, teasing and laughing as he pressed kisses to the fresh trail of tears on his hyung’s face, “You can’t start crying again after I confess; you’re gonna give me mixed signals, Jagiya.”

“Shut up,” Jeonghan whines, trying his best to sound annoyed but failing miserably as he leans into the hand still cupping his face, “You’re so annoying.”

“Yeah, but...you love me.” Seokmin says it with a smile, shy to match the awed tone of his voice. It’s as if he's just as surprised by Jeonghan’s words as Jeonghan was by his. 

Like two halves of the same misshaped whole. 

How fitting it is that they found each other.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/bf_wonwoo)
> 
> talk to me on [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/bf_wonwoo)


End file.
